Forgiveness
1 Peter 4:12-14
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that is taking place among you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you are sharing Christ’s sufferings, so that you may also be glad and shout for joy when his glory is revealed. If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the spirit of glory, which is the Spirit of God, is resting on you.
John 17:1-11
After Jesus had spoken these words, he looked up to heaven and said, “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son so that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all people, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I glorified you on earth by finishing the work that you gave me to do. So now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had in your presence before the world existed.
“I have made your name known to those whom you gave me from the world. They were yours, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. Now they know that everything you have given me is from you, for the words that you gave to me I have given to them, and they have received them and know in truth that I came from you, and they have believed that you sent me. I am asking on their behalf; I am not asking on behalf of the world but on behalf of those whom you gave me, because they are yours. All mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I have been glorified in them. And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one
Meditation on Forgiveness
Good Morning, and thank you for allowing me to share some thoughts with you today on the subject of Forgiveness. It isn’t my intention to impart some great wisdom or revelation, so much as to create some space in all of our minds to focus today, and through the week, on the what forgiveness has to do with our own lives. I have learned most of what I know from people just like all of you, sharing their own experiences and perceptions in Christian churches. So if you hear anything that sounds familiar, I may have borrowed it from you.
Speaking as a musician of sorts, I can honestly say that one of the most important conditions for a musician to grow and thrive is forgiveness. If you know me, you’ve undoubtedly heard me say that if you can’t get forgiven for a wrong note in church, you’re probably in the wrong church. If you know me well, you’ve heard me say it a few times too many. And for that, I most humbly ask for your– forgiveness.
Why is forgiveness such an important part of Christian life? Because human imperfection is such a large part of human life. I give you a reshaping of an age-old question: “How many perfect people can dance on the head of a pin?” Answer: all of them, if you leave out Jesus. Imperfection and shortcomings are an integral part of being human. We can try as hard as we can, and we must, because that is also an essential part of being human, but we cannot ever achieve Perfection. This is why, in many cultures around the world, it is customary to deliberately create a small imperfection in any craftwork piece, as a humble acknowledgement that Perfection is the province of God, and not achievable by mortals.
Forgiveness is such a central part of Christian life and thinking, and includes so many different aspects and facets that it’s a little daunting to decide where to begin. Well, when in doubt, go to the Lord’s Prayer: “Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”. So there is the forgiveness that God offers to us for the wrongs we have done Him, and the forgiveness that we are called on in turn to extend to those who have wronged us.
The bible contains many mentions of forgiveness in the context of a transaction, of “this for that”.
MATTHEW 6: 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Mark 11: 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Luke 6: 37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
In these passages, we are encouraged to forgive others in order to get something back, namely good standing with The Almighty. This often helps people get where they need to be. But forgiveness is also often linked not to “pay it forward” reciprocity, but to confession and atonement. Our Catholic brothers and sisters hold this very near the center of their observance.
1 John 1: 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
Luke 17 3 …If your brother or sister[a] sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.
This kind of forgiveness is also a transaction, something given for something received, but the exchange goes to restoring and strengthening the relationship between the sinner and the party sinned against. This is harder, because it involves real personal struggle and uncomfortable growth, but the benefits to the individual and to the community are enormous. We are called on to seriously examine ourselves, and confront our flaws and our defects of conduct and character. When we do it sincerely, it cuts to the core of who we are, and forces us to make real changes in ourselves. When both confession and forgiveness are complete, the relationship can resume, changed, but ultimately strengthened by the ordeal.
Sometimes, there is no quid pro quo; no exchange of this for that. Sometimes, the offended party simply decides to lay the offense aside:
In Isaiah 43 God says,
25 I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.
God blots out your transgressions “for his own sake?” Maybe you know someone, or someone who knows someone, or maybe sometimes you are someone, who can “hold a grudge” like nobody’s business. Someone does something to them that makes them feel disrespected, slighted, or embarrassed, or they are deprived of something they have a right to. They can’t find a way to put the situation to rights for one reason or another, and so they determine that they will hold the other party in contempt for all eternity. You can see them react in their face and every muscle in their body when the offending person’s name comes up. They become stiff and tense, and what is going through their head or your head, or my head, is something like, “Well, I can’t punch them, but I will never, ever, EVER forgive them.” Even if you’ve only seen it in the movies, you understand the situation: holding on to that grudge like grim death, holding on to it like it was the last thing they will ever give up, the Most Precious Thing they own.
And what is it actually worth? After all this time, has it changed the other person’s behavior? Chances are very good the other person doesn’t even realize that that grudge is the reason you always look so unhappy. The offense may be very real, but the remedy isn’t working; in fact, it is consuming our energy, preventing us from accomplishing things, and blocking joy out of our lives.
This is when we, like God in Isaiah, can decide to forgive as a matter of self-preservation. To choose to lay down the burden of someone else’s shortcomings and misbehavior, to stop spending precious mental and spiritual energy on something that produces no positive effect in the world, and put that energy toward making something better. We can give over the responsibility for punishing the offender to God’s hands, recalling Romans 12:
19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge, I will repay,” says the Lord.
When we do this, those who know us well will often tell us that they can see the difference in our faces and in our bearing and demeanor. As Louis Smedes once said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
The last type of forgiveness I’ll mention this morning is as important. And that is self-forgiveness. As people who strive to lead a moral life, it is good and right to be self-critical. That is how we get closer to God and His will, by acknowledging our imperfections, and setting higher expectations for ourselves. The danger lies in allowing self-castigation to become an addictive lifestyle. That can threaten our mental health and our ability to function, and to complete the work God wants us to do while we are here. Keeping a balance between constructive self-criticism and abusive self-punishment can be challenging. Giving that responsibility over to God can unlock the chains that bind us. From First Peter, Chapter 5:
- And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
God, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you.
I’d like to offer us all an opportunity this morning to give over a burden into God’s hands. We will take a moment to pray, and see if there is something that you are carrying on your heart that you are ready to let God handle for you. It could be something we’ve talked about this morning, or something else entirely, that you feel ready to hand over to His care. Be honest with yourself; you may not yet be ready to release that tension, and you can hold on to it until you are ready. You are not compelled to forgive. Forgiveness is not a contract. It is an act of Grace. You will find some blank slips of paper in the holder on the back of the pew in front of you; as we pray, you may choose to write something brief that identifies the burden you carry to yourself and to God. It can be anything, and no one else will ever see it. Let us be in reflective prayer.
In just a moment I’ll invite you all to come up and deposit your slips in the envelope on the altar. They will then be destroyed. You are welcome to use this little ceremony in any way that helps you. If there is something you aren’t ready to give up today, but may want to in the future, you can do this now and fulfill it in your heart when you are ready. If you haven’t identified a burden yet, you can submit a blank slip, and remember this ceremony when you realize later that something in you needs to be released.
File up, sing Leave It There
If we were doing this by a campfire, I would simply burn the envelope with our concerns in the fire. But since public policy, the Board of Trustees and Common Sense rule that out, we can use the modern alternative—the sturdy, vaguely sanctified Trusty Binford Shred-o-Matic 32,000.
Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”